616 Interviews – Normie Osborn

posted in: 616 Interviews, Comics, Humor | 0

Today we welcome our youngest interviewee to date, little Normie Osborn, son of Harry and grandson of Norman. Will he inherit his paternal legacy or does he just want to play with Legos?

Marvel 616 Politics: Welcome, Normie! It is a pleasure to have you here! How’re you doing, buddy?

Normie: Don’t call me “buddy.” My name is Normie.

M6P: Oh, I’m sorry, Normie.

N: Hee hee hee.

M6P: That’s a creepy laugh and an even creepier smile. So tell me, Normie, what do you want to be when you grow up?

N: I’m going to be the head of Alchemax because I’m special.

M6P: So not a fireman or an astronaut? You want to be the CEO of a technology company and you aren’t even ten?

Norman_Harold_Osborn_(Earth-616)N: Hee hee hee.

M6P: This kid is going to give me nightmares.

N: Wait until I’m older.

M6P: Is your name really Pazuzu? Because if so…THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!

N: Hee hee hee.

M6P: I’d like to thank Damien Thorn for coming here today and being a generally disturbing child. Remember, folks, this is what happens when you don’t spank your child and their father and grandfather are lunatics. See you next week for a hopefully less demon possessed 616 Interviews!

Producer Andy: Next week is Ghost Rider.

N: Hee hee hee.

Follow Kevin McVicker:

Like an infinite number of monkeys trying to write Hamlet, Kevin has been able to randomly place together words in a somewhat coherent order in an attempt to express his lifelong love of all things Marvel. Starting from the first moments he watched Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends as a little tyke, Kevin has grown into an actual adult male while somehow maintaining his passion for superheroes. Does he know how to the change the oil in his car? No! Can he explain the convoluted history of the X-Men comic book series? Listen, bud: no one can!