616 Interviews – Groot

posted in: 616 Interviews, Comics, Humor | 0


Today for 616 Interviews I got to meet with Groot during a few off minutes from saving the galaxy with his fellow Guardians. The lumbering (haha! Get it!) tree sat with me as I hoped to gathering insight into his past life, his loves, and his plans for the future. What I got in return was a surprise indeed.

Marvel 616 Politics: Thank you for meeting with me today. Should I call you Mr. Groot or just Groot?

Groot: I am Groot.

M6P: Groot, can you tell us a little bit about how you and your longtime friend Rocket met?

G: I am Groot.

M6P: …

G: …

M6P: Uhhh, okay. Ummm, what everyone really wants to know is there a woman and some saplings in your life?

G: I am Groot.

M6P: [to producer Farmer Andy] I don’t know what that means. What do I do?

Producer Farmer Andy: He’s here to plug a book. Talk about his book.

M6P: Okay, Groot, this summer you have a memoir coming out titled…SERIOUSLY! “I am Groot” is the title? Let me guess…is every sentence in the book, “I am Groot.”

G: I am Groot.

M6P: The suicide rate is going to go up when this comes out.

G: I am Groot!

M6P: Goodness gracious, you seemed excited about that. I don’t know. I need a massage and a new producer. We’ll see you next time on 616 Interviews with someone intelligible.

Producer Farmer Andy: Actually, Doop is up next.

M6P: I’m going to go rethink my life.


Follow Kevin McVicker:

Like an infinite number of monkeys trying to write Hamlet, Kevin has been able to randomly place together words in a somewhat coherent order in an attempt to express his lifelong love of all things Marvel. Starting from the first moments he watched Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends as a little tyke, Kevin has grown into an actual adult male while somehow maintaining his passion for superheroes. Does he know how to the change the oil in his car? No! Can he explain the convoluted history of the X-Men comic book series? Listen, bud: no one can!