616 Interviews – Groot

posted in: 616 Interviews, Comics, Humor | 0


By Kevin McVicker!!


Today for 616 Interviews I got to meet with Groot during a few off minutes from saving the galaxy with his fellow Guardians. The lumbering (haha! Get it!) tree sat with me as I hoped to gathering insight into his past life, his loves, and his plans for the future. What I got in return was a surprise indeed.

Marvel 616 Politics: Thank you for meeting with me today. Should I call you Mr. Groot or just Groot?

Groot: I am Groot.

M6P: Groot, can you tell us a little bit about how you and your longtime friend Rocket met?

G: I am Groot.

M6P: …

G: …

M6P: Uhhh, okay. Ummm, what everyone really wants to know is there a woman and some saplings in your life?

G: I am Groot.

M6P: [to producer Farmer Andy] I don’t know what that means. What do I do?

Producer Farmer Andy: He’s here to plug a book. Talk about his book.

M6P: Okay, Groot, this summer you have a memoir coming out titled…SERIOUSLY! “I am Groot” is the title? Let me guess…is every sentence in the book, “I am Groot.”

G: I am Groot.

M6P: The suicide rate is going to go up when this comes out.

G: I am Groot!

M6P: Goodness gracious, you seemed excited about that. I don’t know. I need a massage and a new producer. We’ll see you next time on 616 Interviews with someone intelligible.

Producer Farmer Andy: Actually, Doop is up next.

M6P: I’m going to go rethink my life.