616 Interviews – Dazzler

posted in: 616 Interviews, Comics, Humor | 0


With the recent history being retconned so that the 616 basically started in the early to mid-90s, we talk to Dazzler who apparently was trying to restart the boogie while Seattle based grunge rock became all the rage. Was this a bold marketing move to allow her to stand out or just brain damage from years of drug usage in the 80s? Let’s find out!

Marvel 616 Politics: Dazzler, thanks for coming by today and joining us.

Dazzler: There weren’t only green M&Ms in the green room!

M6P: I’m sorry about that. I’ll make sure to talk to my producer about paying better attention to riders next time. So I see you wore skates.

D: Of course I wore skates.

M6P: Ironically like a hipster or do you think you look cool?

D: Huh?

M6P: So there was a lot of controversy when you and Weird Al parodied Ebony and Ivory. Can you talk about it?

D: Yea, we thought it would be fun, but Coolio got really mad about. He got mad about a lot back then.

M6P: And the title of the song was Mutie and Normie?

Normie Osborn: Hee hee hee hee.

M6P: Holy crap! Did I just summon you, you little hell spawn?

N: Hee hee hee hee.

D: He’s cute. Can I adopt him?

M6P: What? No, he’s got a mom and I’m pretty sure he’s possessed. Why would you want to adopt a kid anyways?

N: Hee hee hee hee.

D: My agent said it would help my image.

M6P: You wear a bedazzled jump suit with roller-skates and your superpower is you can use flashlights. I don’t think adopting a kid will help that. Why don’t you try to not bring disco back? Let it be the one thing in the Marvel Universe that stays dead.

D: I’m going to president one day.

M6P: I don’t see how that has anything to do with what we’re talking about, but if we vote you into office we deserve you.

N: I’m going to rule the world.

M6P: I’m gonna get Iron Fist to punch you in the face, kid!

N: Hee hee hee hee.

M6P: I’d like to thank the queen of the Stone Age for being here and Henry Evans from the Good Son for manifesting. Hope to see you back here next week for another 616 Interviews.

Follow Kevin McVicker:

Like an infinite number of monkeys trying to write Hamlet, Kevin has been able to randomly place together words in a somewhat coherent order in an attempt to express his lifelong love of all things Marvel. Starting from the first moments he watched Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends as a little tyke, Kevin has grown into an actual adult male while somehow maintaining his passion for superheroes. Does he know how to the change the oil in his car? No! Can he explain the convoluted history of the X-Men comic book series? Listen, bud: no one can!