616 Interviews – Batroc The Leaper

posted in: 616 Interviews, Comics, Humor | 2

Today we’re talking to everyone’s favorite French mercenary: Batroc the Leaper. He’s possibly the best known savateur in the world, which is incredibly sad because he’s not a real person. Today we’re going to talk to Batroc about footwear and baguettes because I don’t know anything about France.

Marvel 616 Politics: Batroc, may I call you Georges?

Batroc the Leaper: Oui.

M6P: Thanks, how often are you referred to as a leper?

BL: I clearly said I didn’t want to talk about that. Batroc is a leaper not a leper. I have my nose and fingers, you foolish American.

M6P: Sorry, I wasn’t aware you were so sensitive about that subject.

BL: Does anyone ask the Stiltman how often he’s referred to as the Siltman and what is it like being sediment? No! But Batroc always gets the leper questions.

M6P: We’ll Stiltman is dead, so we can’t ask that question.

BL: Just for that… I leap on your couch.

M6P: What? Hey, man, that’s my couch and you have shoes on! How about I refer to you as Batroc the Rude or Batroc the Furniture Ruiner? Huh?

BL: Batroc doesn’t care about your silly American illiteracy! Batroc is French and we have a stronger public education!

M6P: You’re ranked 23rd and America’s 24th. I don’t think that means you’re that much stronger. And you’re only ranked higher because your math skills are better, but we’re much stronger in science, which would imply that our reading is better! Boo and yah.

BL: Batroc is impressed with your knowledge of foreign education systems.

M6P: Have you ever beat an American, or do you always fall apart like a leper when you face us?

BL: Touché.

M6P: That’s all the time we have for this week. I’d like to thank Batroc the Leper for continuing to support outdated French stereotypes. We’ll see you back here next week with a new couch.

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Like an infinite number of monkeys trying to write Hamlet, Kevin has been able to randomly place together words in a somewhat coherent order in an attempt to express his lifelong love of all things Marvel. Starting from the first moments he watched Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends as a little tyke, Kevin has grown into an actual adult male while somehow maintaining his passion for superheroes. Does he know how to the change the oil in his car? No! Can he explain the convoluted history of the X-Men comic book series? Listen, bud: no one can!