By Kevin Mcvicker!!
This week on 616 Interviews we had what my producer calls “the privilege” of interviewing Adam Neramani, better known as the Shi’ar mutant: X-Treme. We’re going to talk to him about shoulder pads and leather jackets and what it is like to be considered one of the worst characters in all of the 616.
Marvel 616 Politics: Welcome, Adam, thanks for agreeing to sit with us this week.
X-Treme: No prob, dude. I’m super stoked.
M6P: I see you are still wearing your hat backwards.
XT: Well, yeah, bro, ‘cause it’s extreme like me.
M6P: Not really. So how does it feel to be known by the same term used to describe failed marketing on both Doritos and radio morning shows?
XT: I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m still just as fresh and dope as I ever was.
M6P: You really are just an amalgam of Fred Durst and Scott Stapp if they were superheroes drawn by Rob Liefeld, aren’t you?
XT: Thanks! That’s a huge complement, dude.
M6P: It was not meant as one. So you’re superpower is that you annoy people, correct?
XT: No, man, I can send electrical signals through the air and into the oxygen in people’s blood and make it boil. That’s why I have these sweet razors all over my rad suit, so I can cut people and oxygenate their blood.
M6P: So you’re worthless against anyone you can’t cut, right?
XT: Totally not, bro. Logan told me that I make everyone else feel special.
M6P: Because even Marrow and Maggot feel reasonable around you?
XT: Yeah, man, that’s exactly what he said! Ya’know, he said he’d call me if anything came up and they needed me, but that was like fifteen years ago. I’m assuming nothing major has happened to the X-Men since then.
M6P: Nope, nothing major at all has happened since 1999 in the superhero universe. So what are you doing with your time now that you aren’t a pointless addition to the X-Men?
XT: I’ve been investing in LaserDiscs. Did you know they’re the size of records and have sixty minutes of play time on both sides? In 1999 they were in like 10% of all Japanese households, so by now they’ve gotta be in every house in the world. I’m gonna be rich, man!
M6P: Well, that’s all the time we have for today. I want to thank Adam for stopping by, and please say “Hey” to Zach and the rest of the gang from Saved By The Bell. See you next week for a brand new 616 Interview!
XT: You wanna go drink some Josta and watch reruns of NightMan? I don’t have any friends.
M6P: Oh… um… no. No, I don’t.