616 Interview – Juggernaut


Today on 616 Interviews we have everyone favorite literal red-headed step child, Juggernaut!

M6P: Juggernaut, thanks for being here. Do you mind if I call you Cain?

Cain Marko: Guess that’s fine.

M6P: Wait, you don’t have a British accent.

CM: Why would I? I was born in California and lived in New York as a kid. Why do people always assume I have a British accent?

M6P: Maybe because of that movie.

CM: Oooooh. THAT movie. What a nightmare. I’m not British. I’m not a mutant. And I don’t cuss.

M6P: Wait… you don’t cuss?

CM: No. It’s crude and vulgar.

M6P: But you murder people.

CM: Well, yeah. But I don’t cuss. Unlike that horrible representation of me.

M6P: So you’ll murder a man or woman…

CM: Or child. I’ve killed a lot of kids in my day. Not typically on purpose, mind you. Usually just due to structures collapsing. But once or twice on purpose.

M6P: Uhhhh… or child. Umm, but not foul language.

CM: Not a single slur.

M6P: Yeah, but you murder people. You crush them. They don’t even die instantly in some cases. They probably hang on for a long period of time, clinging to hope that maybe they’ll be okay while their body cavity fills with blood and then in a violent convulsion their life comes to an end.

CM: Oh yeah.

M6P: But not a single four letter word.

CM: Nope.

M6P: That’s [expletives deleted by the Comic Code Authority!]

CM: Watch your mouth, son. You sound ignorant.

M6P: But you murder people!

Producer Andy: I’ve killed bunnies.

CM: You need to step your game up.

M6P: Before Mister Marko encourages everyone else to engage in murder we’re going to end for this week. Join us next time for a hopefully less disturbing 616 Interviews!

CM: It was only disturbing because of your little outburst.

M6P: Sure, not because of the whole “I murder children” bit.


Follow Kevin McVicker:

Like an infinite number of monkeys trying to write Hamlet, Kevin has been able to randomly place together words in a somewhat coherent order in an attempt to express his lifelong love of all things Marvel. Starting from the first moments he watched Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends as a little tyke, Kevin has grown into an actual adult male while somehow maintaining his passion for superheroes. Does he know how to the change the oil in his car? No! Can he explain the convoluted history of the X-Men comic book series? Listen, bud: no one can!