Now is the season to start looking to the future. However…it seems like 80 years in the future is a bit much. Am I right? (Well, see, it’s figurative. Like it’s 80 years in the future and it’s been 80 years since the first Marvel comics came out…so…) Exactly! I’m glad you know what I’m talking about. I resolve to never let my social score drop more than 238 points in a single act of violence. (…I don’t think we are on the same page. What exactly are you doing?) I’m making my New Year’s Resolution. I resolve to never let a magical wizard that’s a girl take up residence in my head for all the rest of my years. (I’m seriously trying to bite my tongue, but I can’t–not anymore. Do you think that Marvel’s 2099 current storyline is–like–the company’s New Year’s Resolutions or something?) That’s what I was told, yes. (By whom?) What? (Who told you that?) OH! I that you said “Buy Broom.” (No, no. “By whom?”) I see…it’s like a metaphor. (Yeah, it is…but who told you that it was a New Year’s Resolution?) I hereby solemnly swear that I resolve to “Buy Broom” for the next 80 years. I will continue to clean up my life. I will not let the dust and dirt of my kitchen floors sully the soul of my feet. (Holy cow….forget it.)
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