616 Interviews (Retro Edition) – Wolverine

INTERVIEW-300x276By Kevin McVicker!

We have an extra special edition of 616 Interviews for you today featuring none other than Wolverine! This was one of the very first 616 Interviews conducted over twenty years ago. Yes, I know Marvel 616 Politics didn’t exist back then, but I’ve retconned that to fit my purposes which seems to be what everyone writing for Marvel does anymore! Just like most retcons I’m going to build it up to be more important than it really is, but you’ll never hear about it ever again! So from the vaults (which I just made up) is our very first and quintessential interview with Wolverine. You won’t believe the amazing things that come out in this interview. It is the most important interview of all time and I am not building this up in the least little bit.

Marvel 616 Politics: Logan, thanks for joining us today!

Wolverine: You’re welcome, bub.

M6P: Ooooh! He said his catchphrase which is most commonly used when people don’t know how to properly characterize you!

Wolvie: Generally, bub.

M6P: So you are the best at what you do and what you do isn’t pretty, but are you good at anything that is pretty?

Logan: I can’t remember, bub.

M6P: Oh… ok. Ummm… What were your parents like?

Patch: I don’t know, bub.

M6P: That’s sad. Do you have any kids and what are they like?

James: I couldn’t say, bub.

M6P: Oh, well… uhhh… what’s your earliest memory?

Runt: I can’t remember, bub.

M6P: You can’t remember you’re earliest memories? This does not bode well for our future interviews.

Weapon X: Sorry, bub.

M6P: Well, next week we have the hottest up-and-coming hero who in twenty years is bound to be way bigger than boring Wolverine: Sleepwalker! He is about to take the comic world by storm and leave Wolverine in his dust!