Top 10 Tuesday: Worst Marvel Villains
By Kevin McVicker
The worst of the worst, and by that I don’t mean the villain who has done the most destruction, or the villain who has been the biggest bane in a superhero’s life. These are just the worst, the most bad; the most awful villainous characters. These are the one who make you wonder, “Who thought this was a good idea?” I have left out villains who are obvious joke characters that have never been taken seriously (like any character who has only gone up against Howard the Duck).
Honorable Mention – Fancy Dan (Daniel Brito)
– Amazing Spider-Man #10 (March, 1964) – Stan Lee and Steve Ditko –
He’s a normal guy, who is okay at karate, but tries to go up against Spider-Man, The Human Torch, and She-Hulk. Even Dazzler beat this guy.
10 – Bookworm (Nelson Gruber)
– Sleepwalker #4 (September, 1991) – Bob Budiansky and Rick Leonardi –
He can generate a physical form of any written material, which sounds cool until you realize that most written sources are boring love stories or poorly written listicles…
9 – Doughboy
– Captain America #209 (May, 1977) – Jack Kirby –
He was a creation of Arnim Zola and is a only scary to people who think they have Celiac disease or those annoying people on the paleo-diet.
8 – Matador (Manuel Eloganto)
– Daredevil #5 (December, 1964) – Stan Lee and Wallace Wood –
Not only are matadors not scary unless you’re a bull in Spain, that whole get-up was really wasted on Daredevil.
7 – Walrus (Hubert Carpenter)
– Defenders #131 (May, 1984) by Peter Gillis and Alan Kupperberg –
Hubert claims to have the proportionate speed, strength, and agility of a walrus, which is to say, he’s kind of strong and that’s about it.
6 – Blow-Hard
– X-Factor #11 (December, 1986)– Louise and Walter Simonson –
To quote a brilliant movie, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” He’s so lame he died in New Jersey.
5 – Unus the Untouchable (Gunther Bain)
– X-men #8 (Novemeber, 1964) by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby –
An immigrant to America, I don’t think Gunther completely understands the English language to have chosen that title, which is one letter off from another untouchable (at least in my marriage).
Editor’s Note: KEVIN!!! -Jarid
4 – Mister Fish (Mortimer Norris)
– Power Man #29 (February, 1976) – Bill Mantlo and George Tuska –
In one issue this guy got bitten by a fish after being exposed to radiation and then thrown off a building by Luke Cage.
3 – Typeface (Gordon Thomas)
– Peter Parker: Spider-Man (November, 2000) by Paul Jenkins and Mark Buckingham –
He is a good fighter that glues refrigerator magnets to his face to represent his current mood.
2 – Shrunken Bones (Jerold Morgan)
– World of Fantasy #11 (April, 1958) by Steve Gerber –
He shrunk his bones (not the rest of his body) and then decided to conquer the world. He’s gross looking and a horrible scientist, like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly, but more so.
1 – Phishy McPhish (Phisherman)
– Brotherhood #7 (January, 2000) – X and Essad Ribic –
He’s a terrorist and listens to a lot of Phish, which is redundant.